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ComtedelaFere
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Interests: Music: listening, performing, and composing. Latin. Ancient Greek. Philosophizing. Chess. Okinawan Karate. Weaponry. Shakespeare. Star gazing. Sunsets. Analyzing artwork. Being cynical. Rope systems. Psychology. Neuroscience research. Steer wrestling. Farming. Climbing trees. Analyzing people. Reading. Writing. Rambling. Biking. Hockey. Swimming. Hiking. Physics. Biology. Bridge building. Baking. Midnight walks.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/30/2002
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| Very conflicted.
You are exactly where you were two years ago, and it seems like you haven't learned a thing. You want the "good" life, you want to reap what you have not sown, you want the realization of some sort of stupid "ideal" that is in your head. You don't understand that you already have in your possession that undying loyalty, tested and true, and with that, a strong will that can move heaven and earth for you--both things you take for granted. You have lost your center and your unrest is understandable because you are simply dissatisfied with your life. You need to understand, however, that you are just going down that same path that you started down long ago. Why can't you just clear your head and see? Do you really want to risk all over again the misery that marked the last two years? What if you can't get out of it this time? I feel that you are being foolish. You just sound so desperate and pathetic; lost without even knowing what the right path is. I refuse to support this self-destruction you are so intent on. You sadden me.
On the other hand, I am generally very satisfied with life. I'm really breathing, seemingly for the first time I've been here. There is a hint of dissatisfaction trying to creep in, however. Whether to listen to it as the voice of reality or to ignore it in hopes of delaying it the eventual trough is the question. I just know the impossibility of the situation, but for one moment just to dream!
Disappointed at realizing that I have to write you off as undependable, just simply because you have no self-discipline. Oh well, maybe it is simply that your priorities are different.
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| Too much going on in my head...
Thinking about Saturday.
Just wordless; it is not that I cannot really find the words to explain it. It is just inexplicable in its nature.
I do not understand it.
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| If I were to see you randomly while walking down the street, I think I'd walk right past you without so much as a nod of acknowledgment.
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| Loyalty is an extremely important thing to me. Sticking and persisting no matter what the circumstance. The one thing that will drive me away is when someone takes that loyalty for granted. Perhaps it is unloyal of me to withdraw my loyalty for such a thing, because I guess then it's not really unconditional perseverance, but I think I need to strike a balance between that and self-preservation. Yet still that doubt remains...
I think if ever there was anything good that Seth taught me, it is to walk away.
It seems like there are an incredibly high number of birthdays this time of the year. I think celebrating birthdays is a little funny, because it is like celebrating the passage of time. Some may counter with the fact that it, in actuality, is celebrating the worth of the person and expressing gladness that that person exists, but I think that such a thing should be done daily, not once a year. It is bothersome, like people as a whole being nice to each other only during December and maybe January if they feel like it.
I, 22 year-old female med school student, walks into a clinic presenting with symptoms of fever, runny nose, anorexia, sluggishness, and a hoarse throat. General feeling of malaise seems to have started about 24 hours ago and has progressively worsened. Roommate getting over similar symptoms, which has started 5 days ago. Upon physical examination, shows temperature of 100.1 F, BP unable to be taken due to lack of sphygmomanometer, tachycardic with pulse rate of 103. Dry, episodic coughing, non-productive. Pharynx shows no sign of purulence, tender tonsils and submandibular lymph nodes tender and swollen. Lab results show elevated WBC count, chest x-ray reveals no abnormalities.
Diagnosis: common cold.
Patient feels like "dying" due to its severity.
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